Do you like schadenfreude? Trick question, of course you do.
Get some when you watch this Cybertruck get ruthlessly outclassed by an old Subaru wagon:
Let’s be real. That is not a lot of snow, and it’s not that steep. A Honda Fit can handle that much snow (as demonstrated here). I am darkly fascinated by how hard the Cybertruck sucks, not just at truck stuff, but even at the real basic car stuff.
Then, as if somebody said their name without knocking on wood, a late-model Subaru confidently glides up the exact same slope, unbothered, like they’re just returning from roller derby.
Cue the Tire Talk in 3… 2… 1…
Yes, we know, Tesla fans… the tires. “Those aren’t 3P Snowflake tires!” you cry, clutching your $100 die-cast Cybertruck model in horror.
But here’s the thing: when you spend $100,000+ on a truck that looks like a Dorito designed by a defense contractor, shouldn’t decent tires be included?
It’s not like this was Everest or some Rocky Mountain fire road. It was a modest patch of snowy driveway in what looks like the end of somebody’s suburb. And yet, the Cybertruck still crashed out.
Speaking of Tires… The Ram TRX Has The Same Tires, and It Handles Snow Like This
Now, to be totally honest with y’all, I am just not that excited by luxury pickup trucks. Anything fancier than the Tacoma TRD Off-Road feels like showboating to me. Hell, even the Off-Road is too much at $42,000… god, pickup trucks have gotten expensive.
So, the Ram TRX is an absurd vehicle. Enormous. Overpriced in the extreme, starting at $98,000. It’s too much truck for practically anybody.
Conveniently, though, it ships on the same brand tire as the Cybertruck (Goodyear Wrangler Territories). So, it’s a different cut of the same tire. Watch how a better designed truck puts the same tread pattern to work.
See what I’m talking about? That’s about the performance I’d expect for the price tag. Not the joke-y and choke-y flailing you see from Tesla’s best off-roading attempt.
Maybe It Just Needs a Software Update (Have They Tried Turning It Off and On Again?)
Surely, a future OTA update will solve for the lack of traction control on the Cybertruck, right? Any day now… I’m sure of it!
Maybe Tesla will also patch out about 2,000 pounds of its absolutely bloated curb weight, too. They could hotfix the doors so that they work in case of fire while they’re at it. They might even sell a couple if they refactored the MSRP to be $50,000 lower.
Until then, shout out to Subaru. No drama. No fuss. No hard right angles. Proving that you don’t need a truck to enjoy a little snow-wheeling.
Credit for video to AppendixN – the original video post was deleted from Reddit, but we have our ways!
